I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
