If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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