The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize