Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
