You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
