we're blogging at a bar
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
