put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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