I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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