i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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