We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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