just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
