I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
