I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize