On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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