If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude i'm inner monologue high
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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