ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
