a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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