Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize