everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
