dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
