part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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