I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
