My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
