I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
there's paper in my vomit.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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