Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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