She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
