I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
