I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize