Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
