i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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