i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
