i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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