I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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