so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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