There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
