Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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