No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
