everyone is single if you try hard enough
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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