She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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