i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
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OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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