whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
