There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize