i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
