420 ftw
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
