Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize