tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
