Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Don't you send me to vm

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(+44): View more from England

I just gift wrapped bread.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine

(303): View more from Colorado

Oh and I threw up on myself...

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.

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(317): View more from Indiana

No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work

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