You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
