Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize