i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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