we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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