I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you inspire me to be a worse person
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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