just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
