We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
