yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
