I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
