She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dick very happy bro
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
