Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
