..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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